Why is self-love so difficult but essential for health

Do you struggle to do self-love?

When someone mentions the word or you come across a quote about it, do you put your hand to your mouth and yawn or even worse groan?  Tell me something I don't know, you hear yourself muttering.

I have to admit there are days when I literally can't do it.  But really I can't.  I might be able to just about like myself but there are days when my self-worth and self-confidence is so low I can not mention love and self in the same phrase.  

But those are the days when I know it's time to pause, breathe and get quiet.  From that place, I can gradually quite like myself again and build upwards from there and that is totally ok.  Just liking yourself is a great place to start and be ok with for a time.

Then there's other days, much more frequent I might add (thank goodness) when I will say over and over, "I love and accept myself exactly as I am," and as I say it, I can feel my shoulders peel away from my ears and a big breath out.  Phew!  I'm ok.  I'm actually ok.  
Today I'm not beating myself up. 

And sometimes I can look at myself in the mirror whether it's in the bathroom or the car and actually say to myself, "you know what Sophie, I really love you," and I mean it and my eyes sparkle and my mouth turns up in a wry smile and I feel good.  I feel joy.

So why is this self-love so insanely important?  

Because "you can't get there from there," as Abraham Hicks would say.  

You can't create great health, an amazing life, fantastic relationships
and super careers from a place of lack.  

You just can't.  
The universe is energy after all.  What you feel about yourself, what you give out gets mirrored in the outer world.  Wanna be free of crap ( most of the time)?
You have to start with you.

I was listening to the wonderful Think Healthy with Hayley Plummer podcast the other day ( a must for healthy ideas) and she spoke about our inner critic, oh yes, that inner voice that might sound like a parent who basically tells you off ALL DAY LONG - recognise it? 

The one that says you haven't eaten healthy enough, what an idiot! Why did you do that or you'll never be thin, you haven't got enough self-control or you'll never find love, you're not nice enough or good enough..we all know her don't we!!

BUT then Hayley spoke about our inner coach and it triggered something.  I've known about this kind inner voice for some time but something about that description resonated BIG with me.

Imagine a voice so gentle, so soothing but also unemotional and practical that guides you to the best thoughts possible so you can feel back in control and ultimately create your best life.

So how do you do this?

Well this is something I practice ALOT with my clients because HEALTHY MINDSET is absolutely crucial for success.  You're not gonna stick with healthful practices if your mind is being run by a bossy, controlling, abusive inner critic.

So I'm gonna let you into my unique way of dealing with this.  And I'm doing this because I want you to love your life, love it so much you won't settle for anything less than creating a life that works for you, that's so joyful you wake up every morning excited for the new day and what it will bring.

Ok are you ready?  This is a big deal.  (Drum-roll)

I haven't shared this with anyone before.  This is my love gift to you so don't waste it. 
Try it and tell me what you think.

Step 1:
Identify an area of your life that's troubling you.  It's particularly helpful if you can think of a particular person who triggers you.  Is it a work colleague, your mother-in-law, a friend - someone you think of most days that causes negative emotion, maybe worry, fear, anger.. whatever it is.  They're probably reminding you of someone significant from your childhood - a critical parent maybe.  If it's something you don't like about yourself or a habit, for eg; lack of control with food, think of that.

Step 2:
Now tune into your self and your inner critic who's got a lot to say about this situation and isn't making you feel too fabulous about it either.  In fact, it's probably making you feel worse than you already do.

Say to your inner critic, " I hear you and I can sense what's being triggered here is making you very uncomfortable but I want you to trust me, I got this."  So this is your inner coach stepping into the fore.

Step 3:
Continue with "I hear you and add, " I'm going to put you over there for now" - imagine pointing to a space a little in front and above you, to your left or right.  "I'm not ignoring you.  I know you're trying to protect me but I'm going to put you over there for now."

"I have this wise inner coach part of me that's going to take care of us, who's going to guide us to right thought and right action so we can leave this pain behind ok."

Step 4:
Then allow yourself to feel your inner coach rising and taking rightful place in your psyche.  Let her nourish you with her love and warmth and support.  Feel her like she has arms wrapping around you and know you're not alone.  You are not alone.  You are loved, safe and supported.

Step 5:
Allow yourself to feel every gamut of every emotion from this safe place of being held.
Explore what it feels like and let your inner coach guide you.  If you struggle with this process visually, simply grab a journal, do this same process and write down your thoughts.

Step 6:
Congratulate yourself.  You've just self-loved.  You've taken your power back.  You've put your inner critic over there without ignoring him or her.  You've attended to your needs with your loving, wise inner coach.  You can now go forth and create your magnificent life.

The journey to health is not a quick fix.  The journey to health is not a magical wand from someone else.  The journey to health is a deep dive into the essence of who you are.  It's not about adding stuff, it's about removing the baggage we carry from childhood and seeing our inner self with fresh new eyes, knowing that we are all we need.  And then it's about introducing consistent, daily, healthy habits.

It's nice to be helped along the way.  That's what I do.  I help you along the way to find your inner Spirit and create your magnificent life but I don't do it for you.  That's your job.

Now if you're keen to get started on this miraculous journey back to the truth of who you are which incorporates healthy diet, healthy emotional work, healthy everything and dream your best life into reality - let's go..click here to get in touch or simply reply to this email.

Please know that the steps I've written about here may not suit everyone.  They have been adapted for general use.  For a unique personalised approach, please contact me privately.

And one more thing.. I have a colleague, highly intuitive and incisive dear old friend who offers guided readings for those who want clarity on their life path, be it relationship, career, new life direction, whatever.  Her charges are minimal ( for now) for readings up to 60 or 90 mins long.  You won't be disappointed.  
Dont believe you must settle because of what life has presented to you so far.  You have a right to a fantastic life!  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  I'm here to help you so are many others.  
Lucille is not an affiliate, I just love what she does which is to bring clarity, focus and most importantly, a restoration in self-belief.  Dream big women!  You can get hold of her on 07781 132168.  She's fabulous!

We're not supposed to walk alone.  Ask for help when you need it.

Big hugs 

Sophie xx