Why do we give up so easily?

I noticed a few friends immediately gave up dry January the day lockdown was announced and I wondered why it is that we give up easily on our health goals and yet have the drive and determination long-term to pursue successful careers or long-term relationships for eg.

I get it. I've had times when I've given into my sugar cravings over and over leading to a weakened immune system and in later years, troublesome peri-menopausal symptoms. It was only when I started to make a commitment to myself, get a coach, address my limiting beliefs plus develop and commit to a workable plan that I was able to overcome them and feel back in control.

Here are 4 reasons I think we give up:

1. We don't believe in ourselves
No matter how happy we remember our childhood to have been, we develop limiting beliefs about ourselves based on our experiences. Our parents or caregivers and peers are not superhuman. Our needs would not have been met 100% of the time plus they carry their own blindspots (unhealed aspects). Read more in notes* (at the bottom of this email).

For example:
I'm too fat, I'm too thin,
I'm too bossy, I'm too lazy.
I never stick at anything. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough etc.

I was told I was bossy for eg. This taught me it wasn't ok to voice my opinion, be loud and expressive sometimes, and together with other difficult circumstances, led to chronic shyness in my early teens.

Life can cause us to hold onto these limiting beliefs and embed them further. They can unconsciously inflict their damage in some way, shape or form throughout our adult lives, often in the form of self-sabotage through unhealthy lifestyle or dietary habits.

2. We set short-term unrealistic goals
We adopt 100% restrictive diets for eg; to lose weight with no favourite foods occasionally and no room for slip-ups AND we rarely give ourselves enough time to make gradual, small daily changes over a longer-time period.

3. We don't create a pat-on-the back list
We're quick to remember our failings but don't list our successes. I recommend doing it daily (see my pat-on-the-back boxbelow). We need them to give us encouragement and momentum. It's like my success stories - I need to read them occasionally!!!

4. We don't ask for help
We're not willing to invest in ourselves. We don't engage support long-term (for eg; buddying up with a friend to keep to a healthy goal) or invest with an expert to offer us advice, guidance, encouragement, support and accountability to lay down strong foundations for life-long success,. We give up way before we've got the momentum behind us (see '40 days to change a habit' below).

So what can you do?
I've created a list of 6 things:

1. Unearth your limiting beliefs
Work with someone to help you do this. Remember we've come onto this planet to evolve - to develop core values within ourselves; be it courage, determination, love, integrity, truth.. - it'll be different for all of us.

2. Spend time visioning
Jump into the future for a moment and imagine.

Ask yourself these questions:

a) how do I want to look and feel in a year's time? .......................................
b) what do I want to be doing? ................................................................
c) who do I want to become? ..................................................................
d) list the 'ingredients' of my vision ..............................................................

( or even better, do a helicopter view to get clarity in an initial session you can book here, includes a health assessment + plan)

3. Create an image to represent your vision and keep it somewhere you can look at it everyday

4. Choose an 80:20 approach (to include your favourite foods) and make a weekly plan, (also setting a monthly, 3-monthly, 6-monthly and 1 year goal to keep you focused + on track).

Again, get in touch if you'd like to make a plan with me. It's easy to avoid pitfalls this way plus we allow for slip-ups without the shame that goes with it - they're part of being human). Little steps = big results.

It's fun and exciting to get clear on your vision + make a plan!

"Sophie really helped me in terms of my goals and self-care, and recognising patterns that were holding me back.."
- Lydia

5. Make a box for your limiting beliefs and a pat-on-the-back box.
You may think these ideas ( boxes, vision-boards, physical images..) are a waste of time but what they give you is a DAILY REMINDER and DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT to keep on track and we need this. In a time when our world literally feels like it's falling apart, nothing's 'normal' and we're having to strike a new balance in all areas of our life plus health is a TOP PRIORITY, we need these little reminders to keep us motivated, reassured, focused and determined.


6. Prioritise yourself
Make yourself No.1 and get support to launch you in the right direction then off you go.
Research reveals it takes 40 days to change a habit. If you've had a lifetime of comfort eating or drinking wine each night with your meal - that's a well embedded neural pathway to change right!!
I still regularly enlist the help of a coach. It's life-changing! They can help you see your blindspots, navigate through them and create your best life.

So what are you waiting for? Join me.
The packages are waiting for you to choose them here or jump on a free 30 minute call and create a plan that works for you.

Remember why you want this, what it's going to give you -

Confidence to take on that new project at work, Energy to study a life-long passion, Motivation to meet the man or woman of your dreams, Freedom to dress the way you want and feel amazing..

Big hug

Sophie xox

notes*
This explanation is not designed to ignore those who have suffered more adverse childhood experiences to a greater extent and who have, as a result, experienced significant emotional and/or physical abuse or neglect. Rather, it serves to highlight that whatever our experience, none of us come out of childhood completely unscathed.

p.s. Do share this blog if it feels appropriate.