Going 'into the woods' - a menopausal journey

Are you able to reconcile the fact that your menopause journey is long-winded and that it needn't be beset with miserable symptoms if you're willing to acknowledge it, surrender to it and harness the kernel of wisdom  it's showing you?

I’m into my 6th year of perimenopause and feel myself, this year in particular, experiencing deeply defined moments of turning inwards, of retreat.  I call it going ‘into the woods’ coupled with highly energised moments of clarity, inspiration and focus to be of service.  In this desire to retreat, life has become easier not more difficult because I'm not fighting against myself, not rushing anymore.  Instead, mining each experience, simplifying and regularly having gratitude.

Is it because I'm now more than half way through my life and there's a sense of, what's the rush, what's the point in getting in a big state about things?  I like this attitude.  It means I let go more easily, I surrender to something bigger than myself to hold me through whatever is going on.  It's very comforting.  I feel more supported.  I still worry but I can cut it off more readily than before so I don't go down a rabbit hole of anxiety and really not feeling good.

So my wants and needs have changed

Has life completely slowed down or does it seem that way because I’ve emptied it of stuff that doesn’t align with my values anymore? 
Do you feel the same?  Has the Covid experience of lockdown, which for some was an enforced slowing down, triggered a change of heart or perhaps brought you into alignment with what you might truly like out of life?

My word for 2022 is ‘Enough’ and as the year goes on, I’ve added 'Surrender.'  Surrender means 'stop fighting.  Stop trying to make things happen.'  

Breathe and receive through trust
Everything will work out

When practised well, in other words, if surrendered enough, I emerge renewed with fresh vision and from that place take aligned action.  This means I conserve energy.   I don't waste time on things that aren't mean't for me.  I'm listening inside, getting quiet.  Listening to my breath.  And it means that whatever I'm doing whether what are considered to be mundane tasks such as the washing up or fun, I feel good.  It also means that my meditation practice has lengthened and deepened and combined with reiki (which I was attuned in a good while ago) is quickly becoming a beautiful self-healing and balancing practice.

In a world that teaches you that nothing is achieved without action, action and more action, the concept of surrender is quite alien until that is, the start of this year when I could no longer continue the way I had before. From a place of left brain thinking.
In other words from self or ego.   I felt drained and uninspired from this place. I felt forced, false, a feeling of should and obligation. I couldn’t do it because others said that’s how you achieve in life.

I read Michael Singer’s Surrender experiment and discovered a life lived not of being (doing nothing) apart from his daily morning and evening meditation but a life of extraordinary busyness, fulfilment and achievement and one completely service-inspired.  It's a remarkable story.

I've been fighing this feeling of surrender A LOT this year. It felt uncomfortable, scary to give that way up.  'I might not succeed,' I thought, but really I had no choice. I was being taken deeply inwards like the caterpillar in the chrysalis that turns to mush except for 4 imaginal cells and being in menopause means I'm highly sensitive to the thoughts I think, the feelings I have and the food I put in my body.  I have to take care.  I have to tune in.  I have to listen.

To be honest I still struggle sometimes. Who am I to seek an easier way or even deserve this spontaneous relaxed way of living?  But it feels SO good. So nurturing, so alternative and I’m a natural experimenter and have family to support me which I’m grateful for every single day. I thank my blessings. 

And so my menopausal journey continues. I still menstruate though less regular than before. Who knows when I’ll finally reach post-menopause and that’s ok. I’m mining the process, digging for gold knowing that the exhaustion that creeps in sometimes, the heightened sensitivity revealed by physical ailments of headaches, hot nights and cold symptoms are simply requiring me to listen more, to get outside more perhaps or drink more vegetable juice or cut back on the choccie. 

You see, our hormonal system is stress-sensitive, as Alexandra Pope says, "it's a state of the nation report."  This means our hormonal system gets affected by anything we experience as negative if prolonged whether within our own world or the wider world.  So one of the best things we can do when going through hormonal change is to be aware of this and make the necessary changes to alleviate our stress.  This might be as simple as acknowledging our weariness and retreating upstairs earlier than normal.

A menopausal woman needs lots of space, lots of me-time, lots of self-nurturing

And remember the body is a miracle.  For eg; it produces DHEA, a precursor hormone.  This means it can change into whichever hormone you need but if you're stressed, you'll produce cortisol at the cost of the other hormones.  Stress comes from the thoughts we think.  You owe it to yourself to become aware of your thoughts and feelings as a starting point.  To be curious, non-judgemental and self-kind.  If you're struggling.  If the thoughts and feelings you're having are really getting you down, it may be worth considering coaching or counselling to help you develop techniques to let go of negative emotion and encourage a healthy mindset because it's these that cause our unhealthy habits which lead to physical imbalance.

It's simple, if you feel good, you're on the right track.

And so I thank my menopause for showing me the way- inviting me to fast a little or drink more water or get in the sea or take some Vitamin D or just get to bed. 

I am not invincible and nor are you.

I’m grateful I learned at a young age what my body was trying to tell me and the natural ways I can support it through diet, lifestyle and age old naturopathic techniques like Epsom salt baths and juicing and more latterly through mindful and emotional awareness and self-kindness.

So.  My dear peri-menopausal friend, what do you need? 

How can you respond rather than rail against the heat your body is producing when you throw off the bedcovers in the night or struggle to concentrate? 

Can you respond with kindness, with softness, with rest?  Or will you curse against this rite of passage that teaches you how to care for yourself so well that when you reach your 4th phase, your 60s, you know exactly what to do and how to experience the best of your Winter years?

I invite you to surrender and observe what happens!

And if you need support, please get in touch.  

My very best

Sophie xox